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10 Great Movies That Will Ruin Your Date Night

10 Great Movies That Will Ruin Your Date Night

Though movie night for couples usually ends up in watching a light-hearted romantic comedy most likely starring Ashton Kutcher or Matthew McConaughey, that’s a pretty safe and kind of boring choice to make. But that’s not you. You must be feeling more daring than that, right? Well, I’ve got 10 great off-beat choices here that would make date night more interesting.

Who are we kidding? These are absolutely terrible choices for a date night, despite almost all of them being excellent films on their own. Unless your significant other is a huge sport (in that case, marry her if you haven’t already), these great films are bound to end your night on a disappointing note. You might either be lauded for being unique and daring or you will not have a date anymore. It could go either way, but most likely the direction of the latter.

For others, take it as a warning because most of the movies below might seem very appealing for a date night choice from the cast and other elements involved. So thank me later.

Still interested? So here we go:

1. Hard Candy        

hardcandy

Why You Might Be Fooled – Ellen Page, the quirky indie romantic comedy girl from Juno.

What You’re In For – What starts as an intriguing date between a teenage girl and a charming older man quickly takes a turn for the disturbing as the teenager ties up the man and accuses him of pedophilia, followed by some serious torture as the film takes a turn for the intense. It’s a nail-biting thriller, but one that tackles themes that will definitely ruin your romantic night little by little until it reaches its bitter end.

2. Antichrist

antichrist

Why You Might Be Fooled – With a title like that, seems like a cool horror movie about a cabin in the woods. Perfect for a date night, right?

What You’re In For – Wrong. First of all, your lesson in cinema will begin once you realise it’s a film by Lars Von Trier. That name doesn’t come close to anything that can ever be watched at a date night. Ever. After losing their child to an accident, a couple decides to go to a secluded cabin retreat to reel in from the experience. That’s when the film descends into utter madness with some of the most brutal scenes I’ve seen in films and including a circumcision sequence that will scar you for life. It will crush any hint of romance in the room and may even be responsible for souring your relationship. Believe me, watch this one alone if you’re so inclined.

3. Closer

closer

Why You Might Be Fooled – Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen are all in this film. And the poster certainly makes it look like it might be a cheery romantic drama.

What You’re In For – A movie that stars a lot of the movie stars you’ve loved in previous romantic movies and proceeds to put them in a movie that can be placed in the ‘anti-love’ romantic drama category. It’s a great film that has a lot to say about fidelity and relationships and paints a very realistic picture of couples, but it’s absolutely not a film to see when love is in the air and your date is going well. Don’t be surprised when your date has a lot to think about after he/she finishes the film, and none of that will be romantic

4. Teeth

teeth

Why You Might Be Fooled – An indie comedy tinged with a little horror. A charming recipe for success.

What You’re In For – Ladies, the ‘teeth’ that the title refer to are what a young woman discovers are a part of her privates. That’s the set-up of film. Make sure you know this before you decide to scar your date for life with some of the most unforgettably gory sequences of mutilation (you see where this is going). It’s a film that paints males as sex-starved creatures who get their comeuppance in brutal ways and descends into a very disturbing exploration of this ‘gift’ that the woman has. While it’s probably a fun female empowerment film for women to watch alone, any film involving mutilation of the nether regions (like Antichrist) are a huge no-no on Valentine’s Day.

5. Little Children

littlechildren

Why You Might Be Fooled – It stars Patrick Wilson who ladies love, and Kate Winslet was in Titanic. Enough said.

What You’re In For – Right off the bat, the film begins with a scene where a registered sex offender returns from jail into the neighborhood that he resided in while the community vehemently opposes it. It should be a good indicator that this isn’t exactly date night fare, but the film then proceeds to make it look like so as we meet Brad and Sarah who are both in loveless marriages being able to slowly connect and fall in love. Sounds good, right? Well, without spoiling anything, this is a very powerful drama that isn’t going in the direction that you think it is, and Jackie Earl Haley’s award-worthy performance of a sex offender will make you cringe in ways that you don’t want to experience with your date. Another one for the ‘watch on anything but a date night’ pile.

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Hashmic House Films

An initiative to bolster UAE filmmaking including tips, resources and thoughts about the industry.

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